I’m not trying to be a pessimistic person. Though I am guilty of letting this pandemic get to me at times. I’m an Aquarius so pessimism is really apart of my make up. I’m sure there's a handful under the rebellious spirit of Aquarius, try our best to hold it our sarcastic optimism. In this time of seclusion I have immersed myself in YouTube subscriptions that help me analyze myself and the world around me, and of course anything related to The Real Housewives Dynasty, its no longer just reality tv to me, Denis Richards is my spirit animal, Jill Zarin was robbed, Bethany Frankel is a woman I aspire to be, and Erica Jane is an ICON. If your a moons and stars person like myself you may happen to watch a zodiac reading from time to time. Ok, fine, I watch every other week, just to see what the universe is putting out there. Upon being too lazy to search for anything else, a video on numerology pops up; and there I go, into another theory on how life works. Numerology is any belief in the divine or mystical relationship between a number and one or more coinciding events, thank you Wikipedia. If you want a scary crash course, Jim Carey went all serious for ‘The Number 23’. Its an intense movie that will make you afraid of numbers.
I am a FIVE. Or I have a Life Path of 5. I’m new to the whole process of thought but I found it to be a bit compelling when you look at the way that put it all together. Those with a Life Path Number 5 are highly sensual people. As a child 5s want to touch everything and get all the input they could. Me in grade school period. They have a distinctive flair. If you’ve met me, then flair probably doesn’t give me enough justice. They’re quick learners, highly motivational and many times visionaries. Yes this all sounds like being an Aquarius to me too. And then the Life Lesson on the Path of Number 5 is learning to embrace some level of stability. Number 5s are adventurous and addicted to wisdom. And then for People with the path of 5 have a motto in that rings true: Change is Inevitable.
With all the great accolades being a five is that fives have a super power of some sort that must change the world. I personally believe mine would have to do something with this paper and this pen. I am at the writer and I want to be a good writer and I want to be a person that people distinguish as a writer. I have a person who is but it takes me a second to a to write 1000. 10,000 words maybe 100,000 words in say a month, it’s all up in the air when it comes to inspiration. Its that spark, that thing that starts the creation process that eludes me. Hours go by as I try to scribble ideas try to form sentences I find embody whatever I’m forming in my brain and then the paranoia kicks in. The confusion swells and all my words start to become more and more unrealistic. Am I being delusional about being a writer? JK Rowling taught me to read, Harry Potter books were like candy to me in High School. Could I write something that could change the world like that? Every writer I ever talks to gives me the same advice though, “need to sit the fuck down and write it all out, and be done with it, if you don’t like it burn it”. I’ve Downloaded programs like scrivener to the help me in the writing process, I’ve enlisted social media and beta readers. I’m going to become a writer. I just have to keep putting myself out there and putting my work out there. It’s mind blowing to think that in two years now I’ve literally been working on seven different things. At 12 different times. That marathon in the middle (the writing stage where your in the middle of the book but not quite at the climax and everything before the last chapter) has whipped my ass every time. So now I’m on this personal quest to blog every day put out my material. Wanting to enhance and share. Yes that demon lives on the back of my shoulder; reliably neurotic every single day. Armed with words and letters, oh and I’m A Fucking Five.